Monday, June 27, 2011

Mental Monday's

Welcome to my weekly blog installment called Mental Monday's. A day for me to bitch about something without putting it into my regular posts. You are warned. These posts I don't hold back, and sometimes involves a lot of swearing.

.....feel free to add any bitches of yours into the comment section!!!

This week I am talking about Great Moments of Dumbness......

1. Baby Cage: This was invented in 1939. People would put babies suspended in a wire cage attached to the outside of a high rise window over busy streets. Can we say CRAZY???. I immediately have flashbacks of the Michael Jackson incident (may he R.I.P) 

2. Car Lashes: Please tell me why you would do this to your ride? This looks ridiculous, and the fact that my car would have better lashes than me ain't gonna happen. What's next tits, and a g-string? I hope the designers don't read this, wouldn't want to give them any ideas.

3. Rear Gear: No more Mr. Brown Eye.....really is this your slogan?. I am all for creative ideas and a way to make money, but this??? Why are you staring at your dogs ass so much anyways that it really bothers you that much to invent this. What's next, Human Gear for when our husbands take us doggy style???

4. Lipstick Mask: If you are a grown up and cannot apply lipstick without using this contraption then:

  • You shouldn't own any kind of makeup at all
  • You should keep all kinds of sharp/pointy objects away from your face
  • You should seek professional help immediately
Since when are all lips "one size fits all" anyways????

5. USB Dildo: I'm all about having some alone/private time at home, but that would be the day that I stick something in my hoo haw that is plugged into anything....and you have to use your computer software to control it. Seems like way to much work for me. I like things simple and fast, you know the saying "Get in & Get out" that works for me, and it seems perfect for this add (if you know what I

6. Wine Glass Holder: I love me some wine, Pinot Grigio to be specific. If anyone ever showed up in my house with one of these I would immediately kick them the fuck out. How embarrassing that an adult can't even hold onto their glass. I know some of you will probably think that this is a great idea at a party so you can free up your hands to eat. Guess you won't ever be coming to a party at my house then!!!

7. The Dragon Rainspout: This is the strangest thing I have ever seen unless you live in a dungeon, have a castle surrounded by a moat, or are just plain fucked. This dragon looks like it's throwing up. Why on earth would you want something like this attached to your downspout? Trying to frighten the neighbourhood children? I would use this though just around Halloween, but only then, just sayin'

8. Hat Hair: Really guys, some bald men are super sexy. Why would you resort to this, and on top of that giving woman false hope? The guys that are married or have girlfriends don't wear these because we already know they are bald and we love them anyways. It's the ones that are trying to pickup that sport this shit. Then what? Do you think your gonna leave the hat on forever and we will never find out? What happens when we go back to the room for shower sex??? I mean please your sideburns don't even match the hair on the hat, did ya think we didn't notice???

9. Butter Stick: WOW carrying around butter in my purse has never been so convenient. If  I ever crave it on the go I can just have a quick lick and I'm all set.......This is fucking retarded

10. Magic Wand Remote Control: For all you Harry Potter fans out there, now you can feel like your in control....well at least of your tv. I have a hard enough time keeping my kid away from the remote let alone giving him a reason to be in front of the tv all day. This is a real thing and it actually works, if your interested check out The Wand Company.

Hope you enjoyed....Have a great week everyone!!!!!!


  1. They have wine glass holders here in NZ at the Wine & Food Festivals. It stops people from spilling their precious vino everywhere. Very practical I think but no I would not wear one at home or a party.

    Where the hell do you find this shit Bon? lol that asian lipstick thing is fucked up. And the hat hair. OMG! Atleast there's no meaty arm tattoo this week. I seriously could not get that vision out of my head.

    The crazy in me kind digs the wand remote. I like weird shit. But you know that already.

  2. Hahaha, those are some pretty silly and stupid things! Thanks for sharing!

  3. I think the only thing more disturbing about the "rear gear" is someone posing with their face that close to it. Yikes...

  4. That lipstick mask is all kinds of Hannibal Lecter.

    Just say no to car lashes and doggy butt stickers.

    Btw, the guy that invented that hat hair also invented hill billy teeth. He's a mega millionaire now. Ugh, thanks for selling useless crap!

  5. Thank you for sharing this wild and wacky stuff, always cracks me up!!! LOL :D

  6. 1.) Two words: Eric Clapton.
    2.) Not going to lie...if I had a beauty business that traveled around on the roads: yea...I'd do that. ONLY if I had a make-up line...and a lot of clientele.
    3.) What the fuck?! You're spot on with this one. Stickers on a dog's ass? Seriously?!
    4.) Hannibal Lector might enjoy one of these. Eh?
    5.) They'd probably make more money if they made one of those into a fleshlight. Right?
    6.) A wine-nerds dream. nerds drink wine?
    7.) More stuff for nerds!
    8.) Guy Fieri will see this and sue the company.
    9.) Wow. Seriously?
    10.) Again, won't lie...that does seem cool, but, you're right...I have enough of a hard time keeping the regular remote away from my kid. Haha!

    These are GREAT! Thanks for sharing and giving me a HELL of a laugh.

  7. This post made me LOL...a lot! What an awesome idea for a regular feature on the blog, I can't wait for next weeks installment! And I totally agree - all the things mentioned are completely retarded! ...but they do provide entertainment for us slightly more evolved human beings who can hold our own glasses and are intelligent enough to realise that a cars headlights are NOT eyes, and therefore do not require eyelashes.....

  8. OH WOW, that lipstick mask is hilarious.

  9. I cannot even believe some of those exist...too funny!

  10. HOLY SHIT PEOPLE ACTUALLY DID THAT TO THEIR BABIES?? Can you even imagine the uproar now? lol. And the moment Fido needs to poop that little flower sticker is coming off. I think my dog would have reached around back there to remove it anyway. A sticker around asshairs probably tickles.

  11. That poor Poodle. And that dragon thing is hilarious. Not sure why, but it is :-D


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