Welcome to my weekly blog installment called Mental Monday's. A day for me to bitch about something without putting it into my regular posts. You are warned. These posts I don't hold back, and sometimes involves a lot of swearing.
.....feel free to add any bitches of yours into the comment section!!!
This week I am talking about Great Moments of Dumbness......
1. Baby Cage: This was invented in 1939. People would put babies suspended in a wire cage attached to the outside of a high rise window over busy streets. Can we say CRAZY???. I immediately have flashbacks of the Michael Jackson incident (may he R.I.P)
2. Car Lashes: Please tell me why you would do this to your ride? This looks ridiculous, and the fact that my car would have better lashes than me ain't gonna happen. What's next tits, and a g-string? I hope the designers don't read this, wouldn't want to give them any ideas.
3. Rear Gear: No more Mr. Brown Eye.....really is this your slogan?. I am all for creative ideas and a way to make money, but this??? Why are you staring at your dogs ass so much anyways that it really bothers you that much to invent this. What's next, Human Gear for when our husbands take us doggy style???
4. Lipstick Mask: If you are a grown up and cannot apply lipstick without using this contraption then:
- You shouldn't own any kind of makeup at all
- You should keep all kinds of sharp/pointy objects away from your face
- You should seek professional help immediately
5. USB Dildo: I'm all about having some alone/private time at home, but that would be the day that I stick something in my hoo haw that is plugged into anything....and you have to use your computer software to control it. Seems like way to much work for me. I like things simple and fast, you know the saying "Get in & Get out" that works for me, and it seems perfect for this add (if you know what I mean...lol)
6. Wine Glass Holder: I love me some wine, Pinot Grigio to be specific. If anyone ever showed up in my house with one of these I would immediately kick them the fuck out. How embarrassing that an adult can't even hold onto their glass. I know some of you will probably think that this is a great idea at a party so you can free up your hands to eat. Guess you won't ever be coming to a party at my house then!!!
7. The Dragon Rainspout: This is the strangest thing I have ever seen unless you live in a dungeon, have a castle surrounded by a moat, or are just plain fucked. This dragon looks like it's throwing up. Why on earth would you want something like this attached to your downspout? Trying to frighten the neighbourhood children? I would use this though just around Halloween, but only then, just sayin'
8. Hat Hair: Really guys, some bald men are super sexy. Why would you resort to this, and on top of that giving woman false hope? The guys that are married or have girlfriends don't wear these because we already know they are bald and we love them anyways. It's the ones that are trying to pickup that sport this shit. Then what? Do you think your gonna leave the hat on forever and we will never find out? What happens when we go back to the room for shower sex??? I mean please your sideburns don't even match the hair on the hat, did ya think we didn't notice???
9. Butter Stick: WOW carrying around butter in my purse has never been so convenient. If I ever crave it on the go I can just have a quick lick and I'm all set.......This is fucking retarded
10. Magic Wand Remote Control: For all you Harry Potter fans out there, now you can feel like your in control....well at least of your tv. I have a hard enough time keeping my kid away from the remote let alone giving him a reason to be in front of the tv all day. This is a real thing and it actually works, if your interested check out The Wand Company.
Hope you enjoyed....Have a great week everyone!!!!!!